Quarter life crisis...

Started this blog literally a month ago, but forgot to finish it until now:

So I've always made fun of people when they go through a "midlife crisis." I've always found that it is just a psychological thing that is experienced when someone is realizing that they have grown old and are now on the 'decline' of sorts of their age. Individuals feel that they have now been through their adult stage of life where they can enjoy their toys and stuff and now are elders who can't do the things they once did. At this point individuals typically will go buy whatever toys they once thought they would own, or travel to places they said they would travel, or do things they once thought they would do... So, I felt that this was a silly thing to go through because I of course would have done all that I ever desired to do and there would be no crisis to go through...

That was until a few weeks ago...

So it was Januay 28th, and I was feeling the toll of winter and classes! I had just gotten back from Colorado a couple days before (which was amazing!), but as I was sitting, nay sulking at work in the hall desk my mind wandered to sunshine and beaches. So, I decided to facebook my dear friend Jase Rohde, and simply asked him if he wanted to visit his mom in California this weekend as long as we were back by Tuesday. Then I continued my day until he texted me at 4, asking if he should change his oil or not...

So, there needs to be more of a background here of the character of the friendship I have with Jase. Jase and I have been dear brothers since the first semester of college, and namely the first time we shared a single bed at our freshman group retreat (another blog itself). Basically, Jase, Ben Hunt and a few other guys like that, we all have a unique relationship. Well, there is a lot of creativity in that group, which causes for much talk to be made, big ideas. In addition, there is a lot of doers in the group, so any big idea becomes a reality a lot quicker than it would in a typical group of friends.

Long story short: Jase, Jordan Adams and I left for California at 7:30 Wednesday night, made it Santa Maria, California around 10:30 Thursday night. The whole trip was kind of a haze, but it was sunny and 80! We spent most of Friday and Saturday on the beach beating the locals in sand volleyball. It was great to spend a weekend with Jase's family. His mom and dad are amazing and such an amazing model of parenting and loving the orphans and Christ commanded the church (another blog itself also). We then came back early Sunday morning, stopped in Vegas for a few hours to watch the superbowl at the Hilton Center with 10 projectors and hundreds of people (that could be a blog too). Got back Monday night sometime...

Well, me being me, I spent the whole weekend thinking a whole lot (not different than any other weekend). I was not that surprised by my decision to go on the trip, except for the clear irresponsibility and the fact that I left many things unfinished that could really get me in trouble. But really, I wanted to get to the root of my actions here. Was it really just winter blues? Did I really want to see Jase's family that bad? Did I really want to spend quality time with two of my most dearly loved brothers for a whole weekend? Was there something more?

I think all these questions had some truth rooted in them. What I truly found through the weekend, was that there were a lot of things on my mind that needed settled in my heart. Namely, what in the world am I going to do for the rest of my life? I had been struggling with decisions like where to live, if I should do grad school, and other life changing decisions. Really, I was overwhelmed with the multitude of blessings God had bestowed upon my life and He blessed me once again to give me a time to reflect and seek His face and wisdom in those decisions. So, I had a quarter-life crisis and wanted to get away... I bought a shotgun, buying a new motorcycle... Hey, I'm even going to China! Call it a crisis, but moreso I know I have been blessed beyond belief and I will make the most of every opportunity God has placed before me!

So I went to California for a weekend... It's a great story and I learned so much! I learned that I like my girlfriend, Jera a whole lot more than I even knew was even possible. I missed her every moment and it was incredible to see how God has worked in our lives and hearts the last year. I learned how much I love being with brothers and talkin about deep things while challenging eachother's views in a righteous way. I learned so much more about God's beauty, seeing the mountains and different landscapes between here and the coast. And I learned that sometimes you neeed to do things that don't make any sense in order to see God work in ways that you have never seen!

Would I do it again? Definetely! As long as I can bring at least one more friend...

Election '08

I stole this from Mark Arant's blog, which he stole from somebody else (don't you love sharing on the internet?)... But, I've been trying to wrap my head and heart around how I should react and should be reacting to the elections this year over the last week or so. And well this is exactly what I want to feel and say. Sometimes I wish I could talk like John Piper... But this is truly how I believe followers of Christ should be reacting to this election, because this is under God's sovereignty! It saddens me to hear the negative responses, and hearing that even little children are griping about "the anti-Christ" being elected while sharing during Sunday School! Anyways, listen to this and remember that God works for the good, no matter the way we see it or desire it, it is in accordance of His will.

http://eliot.landrum.cx/post/57578651/john-piper-on-the-2008-elections

How Great?

How great is our God?

Sing with me!

How great is our God?

And ALL will see

How Great is our GOD!!!

As I sang this song this morning, it struck me. How great IS our God? I've always sang that more as a statement then a question, saying "God you are great." Which is great, but I fear it was me putting God in a box of greatness, and today I sit and ponder how great is our God? Singing that as a question. How great are You? Lord open our eyes to Your greatness!

He wraps Himself in Light- God's goodness... Not even darkness can hide from His love and goodness!

Beginning and the End- Time is completely in Your hands, You have complete control. You are constant throughout time: always loving, full of grace, full of justice!

The GodHead 3 in 1- Father, Spirit, Son... How great is that? I can't fathom the mystery of His trinity!

Name above all names- God, You are worthy of our praise at all times! My heart will continually cry out how great You are!

I only have a glimpse now of how great You are, Father! I cry out for you to reveal Yourself, Lord that you would give us a taste here on Earth of the treasures that are to come when we are united with You! Hide us under the shadow of Your wings, we desire to look upon Your face and be completely awed with Your greatness. We rejoice with all the blessings You give us and we cry out for even more grace to be shown that we may give that grace and love to those around us. Father, You are so great! I'm so humbled by Your grace and mercy.

What would it look like to live with this truth continually? What kind of life would we live if we really took God out of our box and lived believing in who He is, our great God who sent His Son to die on the cross, who paid the ultimate sacrifice so that we might have life! What if we believed that He loves us and wants to give us what is best, wants to grant us the desires of our hearts and wants us to be completely satisfied in who He is through Jesus? What if we believed He is a God of righteous wrath who calls us to believe in Him and sin no more? What if we believed that there is no satisfaction in disobedience and that we will be held responsible for our actions? What would it look like if we believed the words that come out of our mouths when we say "How great is our God?"

My life would be different... My life will be different... What about you? What would God have you do as a result of His greatness? I want to do what David desired to do:

Psalm 145:1-3 I will exalt you, my God the King, I will praise your name for ever and ever. Every day I will praise you and extol your name for ever and ever. Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom.

Sing with me: Yeshu acha he!

TII-This is India

This is a phrase that I used with a few girls that went to Delhi, India with me this summer. What does TII mean? While watching Blood Diamond, the phrase "This Is Africa" is used to establish that you must accept a certain fate to live in Africa. TII means a number of different things really, but I'd like to reflect on a few certain genres: "Oh India" moments, general memories of our trip, and brokenness for this nation and the general fate of those living there.

TII-Oh India... We also coined the phrase "Oh India" during this trip. This is used when something happens or something that is seen that can only be described with a general sigh and saying "Oh India!" I think the best way to explain this would be through a few stories... About halfway through our trip we were having some team conflict and decided that we needed to take a vacation from New Delhi and visit Jaipur, so we went and bought train tickets (which is an experience in itself because the con-artist market in Delhi thrives off foolish Americans) and decided to leave 8 hours later (3am)... So we pack the 5 of us into a Tazi at 2am and Grant has his hand out the window. Moments later Grant lets out a "Gross!" and reveals his hand with some type of fecal matter on it from brushing something outside and we then proceed to wash his hand outside the car so that we all don't smell like poop. Upon arrival at the train station we walk to the far North (don't ask why I remember that) end of the track to wait for our train where it is clearly labeled our car will be. As we carry our luggage there we walk past numerous rats, people urinating or defecating, cockroaches and hundreds of nationals looking at us like we're idiots. The train arrives 30 minutes late and we jump into what we jump into our sleeper car and lie down anticipating great sleep. Suddenly we are told that our car is actually at the front of the train on the South end (the complete other side for non-directional people). So we pick up our luggage and sprint through undetermined puddles to the complete other end of the train [I count this as completing my goal of running through an airport to catch an airplane]... This Is India!

TII-General memories... This phrase can also be used when sharing common memories. Whether that be walking around and having sweat be produced in nearly every nook and cranny of your body, or seeing three guys ride a motorcycle together around campus wearing construction hats as helmets, all these memories are shared in the phrase- This Is India!

TII- Brokenness for India... Yet another thing that words just can't explain (hence the phrase encompassing all unsaid things about the trip)! How can I even start to explain the heartbreak that is felt? Well, first off, it is completely supernatural and has grown so much more since I've been gone than since I was there... The brokenness begins for our friends, solely because their eyes are shut to what the one true God is doing! How sad that they can see answered prayer, yes even miracles and even believe that Yeshu is god, but yet He is just another Murti (god) to add? Oh, how my heart breaks! What plain evidence that the Light shines in the darkness but the darkness does not understand! On top of that, the Good News is shared rarely, but even when it is shared it is shared in a way that disrespects the culture and demands a follower to leave their whole socioeconomic class and community. The brokenness for a nation where the workers are few (and praise God for those workers!) and the message is misinterpreted is so indescribable! My heartbreak only begins there. My heart breaks for: the kids at the school we went to, the beggar between Sant Nagar and Laj Pat with no legs, the boys at the park, the woman always on the corner between Sant Nagar and Nehru Place, the guys at L-block in Saket, the beggar boys in Saket, the boy that bit me...

This Is India! This is what the phrase means to me. TII... Brings a flood of emotions that I can hardly describe, but I praise God for those emotions and for having a glimpse of His heart for these people and I praise God to have 2 wonderful men and women that I know I can glance at and mention TII and know that they share with me similar feelings!



Psalm 81:8-10
Hear, O my people, and I will warn you--- if you would but listen to me! You shall have no foreign god among you, you shall not bow down to an alien god. I am the LORD your God... Open wide your mouth and I will fill it.